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Three Me's

In the Oh The Stories We Tell model, there are three basic states of being.  We call them:

  • Lesser or Little Me/Self (LM) - My story isn't serving me in this moment.

  • Authentic Me/Self (AM) - My story serves me in this moment.

  • Enlightened Me/Self (EM) - I am without story.

Core Model

Three Mes.jpg

Each of these states has a very distinct "personality". We float among them all day long, for the most part, without recognition... until now.  When we practice the questions and consider where we are in the model, we get clear very quickly and allow for all three experiences with appreciation. 

Little Me (LM)

The story we're telling is not serving us in this moment. The root emotion is fear. 

We feel "off balance" and unsettled regardless of whether the emotions we're feeling are positive or negative.  The range of emotion is great. From angry to overly happy, from rage to mania, and everything in between. 

There is a pull to the negative side of the equation when we're in our Lesser Selves. We can be "really happy", however, it is very easy for us to land on the negative side the second things don't work out the way we want, or someone questions why or what we're up to.


On the negative side, we have a tendency to demonize ourselves and idolize others. On the positive side, we tend to build ourselves up on the backs of our judgment of others.


Authentic Me (AM)

The story we're telling is serving us and the root emotions include curiosity and openness.

Our stories are serving us in this moment. We feel centered and grounded. Regardless of whether we are experiencing positive or negative emotions.  I feel at home. I know that even when the emotions are negative, "I've got this." I may not know how, but I just have a sense that I can figure it out.

Here, the things that may "set us off" just don't hold that kind of power over us. On the other hand, we're primed to move down to Enlightened Me land, where I am without story. In addition, the more time I spend in Authentic Me land, we are, as a result, far more likely to end up in our Enlightened selves as well as recognizing we're there!

Enlightened Me (EM)

In this moment we are without story, and fully present in the moment. We are in flow and all is right with the world.

Here we are fully connected to the world around us, without resistance, fully allowing "all that is". 

We are non-resistant, in a complete state of allowing.  Just above the Enlightened Me line, we have language but still feel no resistance. Below it we are in state of complete allowing, and typically not conscious of our surroundings. Driving the car for 15 minutes and not being aware of it until we "snap out of it".

Our enlightened selves are, in large part, what we are seeking. This place where all is well. We feel complete just as we are and part of a much greater whole. These are the feelings that we look to accomplish through a variety of means whether it be a new car, a new partner or a new position at work or simply sitting quietly and meditating on a regular basis. 

These personalities apply to us and how we perceive ourselves

We will always, as long as we are here, on this planet, move between all three states of being. As we practice the questions and principles of Oh The Stories We Tell, we find that we move most often to our Authentic Selves while also making our trips to Little Me land much less frequently and less forcefully. As a result, we are also far more likely to land in Enlightened Me mode and recognize when we're there! 

These personalities apply to how we interact with others and drive our behavior

While it is clear that we are the authors of our stories, we often forget that these stories are the drivers of our behavior. When we perceive the world from the perspective of our Lesser Selves, the world is a cruel place, not to be trusted. Our core emotion is fear and we are in a problem orientation. We don't trust ourselves or those around us.


Our behavior puts the people we interact with on the defensive and they are highly unlikely to trust us, simply not feeling safe in our presence. It is here that all bullies live. This is where all bad management lives, and worst of all, where we devalue ourselves, feeling helpless and hopeless OR that we can do anything (which we can't from this place).

When we are in our Authentic Selves, we have agency in our world and we recognize that we get to control the narrative. When we live here, we are the people that the bullied and the bullies turn to for consolation. We are the leaders and managers that our charges want to do the very best for, and we for them. And most of all, we are at peace with our place in the world and how we walk in it. We know that there will be tough times but there will be far more good times. And being in this place we are predisposed to slip the surly bonds of the earth and fall into our Enlightened Selves.

When we slip into our Enlightened Selves, we realize that we are an integral part of something much bigger than just our individual selves in these bodies. We feel much greater access to our inner wisdom as well as that infinite intelligence that is usually just beyond our grasp. This is not a place we can live, but instead, a place we seem to magically arrive just as we enter sleep. We recognize the that best way to visit this place is through appreciation and acceptance of all that is.

What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to something that already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.

— Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
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